Sem break na... yet somehow, someway, somewhere... deep inside me.... hindi ako mapakali. This feeling of emptiness... just can’t be explained. I wonder if it’s because I got used to being preoccupied and doing a lot of things in school, and I just can’t get used to spending my time bumming around in the house? Anyway, just like what I always say, what better way to deal with a drenched, disheartened heart than to watch anime? >.<

So for today, I watched a short 13 episode anime, Amatsuki. It was okay, I gave it an 8 out of 10 rating. Wla akong magawa so I made a review for this series.

Amatsuki starts with a story about a Japanese student named Rikugou Tokidoki who flunked history badly. Somehow, while visiting a high tech virtually design Edo period museum for make-up class, he was attacked by what seemingly was a monster. The next thing he knows, he was already transported to another world, in the Edo era...  After that, he was confronted with a lot of things. He lost his eyesight for his left eye. His life views were questioned. He was sent to a place and time wherein demons and exorcism were not unusual. And, he obtained a special power, wherein he alone has the capability to write and change his fate and the fate of other people.

"Humans are ruled with their mind. Sight, hearing, touch... Ultimately, the senses are but a feeble gleam inside our mind. The world in which people believe cannot be trusted. Inside your mind, everything easily changes shape. Meanings change. There are as many truths as there are people. So then...what is emptiness? What is reality? What is life? What is death?"  I like this anime because it has good substance and a lot of symbolisms. It points out a lot of questions and issues regarding religion, spirituality, humans, life, death... and even our perception of God. It also addresses issues regarding how we discriminate other people belong both the same and different race and how these actions lead to misunderstanding. For me, this anime is a great representation of how human society has revolved.

Fans of Japanese history, folklore, occult and the like may find this anime interesting since the setting of the story is Edo era itself wherein folklore and occult are but an everyday thing. Graphics is also good. Characters and background are well drawn.

As for the story... from what I’ve researched on, this anime is based on a manga that was running for 3 years. From this alone, you can deduce that this anime is WAY too short and doesn’t have a descent conclusion. While it was entertaining and interesting, it was just... too short. It revealed a lot of foreshadowing and dropped a lot of hints for a large scale plot. Yet I did not get to see this large scale plot. As for the ending... it was BLAH... It was WAY too open ended. The anime series itself is merely an introduction to the manga itself.

Still, despite the plot, it really has great substance, in which I really really appreciate! >.< And because of this, I became curious on how this series will end and will be reading the manga after I watch the other animes I’ve downloaded! >.<

Anyway, if you have nothing better to do for this vacation, watch this! >_< Para naman may kakwentuhan ako pagdating sa klase. Hehe, I want to discuss the symbolisms of this anime with someone.


 

I just wanna share something funny on how my grade 2 cousin, Zoe, outsmarted me this afternoon.

Note: italicized word refers to my thoughts, “words enclosed in quotation marks refers to the actual conversation”
 

Edible Stems...O.o

I was in my room, with my laptop, checking on my pet society account, thinking that I can finally relax today. ~_~ Then, Zoe went inside my room.

Zoe: (in a cute tone) “Achi Chelsea, what plants have edible stems? I need 3.”

Me: “Err…” (visiting friends in pet society) “what’s that for?”

Zoe: (still in a cute innocent tone) “It’s for my homework in science.”

Me: “I think broccolis and cauliflowers have edible stems.”

Zoe: “But… but… aren’t broccolis and cauliflowers considered flowers?”

Me: What the heck? Am I so stupid that I can’t even answer a grade 2 science homework with my stock knowledge? Broccolis and cauliflowers are… flowers? Now that I think about it… why are cauliflowers called so if they aren’t flowers? How stupid of me… =.=

I opened a separate browser and googled “edible plants” on the net. Broccoli and cauliflowers kept popping out of my search. I read quite a lot of articles. There were some about how veggies prevent cancer, and even some odd things like animated veggies. =.= With that, I found out that asparagus is also classified as an edible stem. I gave up after 20 minutes.

Zoe: (looking at my snoopy collection)

Me: “I looked in the internet. They said that broccolis, cauliflowers and asparagus are edible stems.  But I guess the internet isn’t exactly an accurate source of information. Better ask Di-pe (that’s what she calls my dad). He knows a LOT about plants.”

Zoe:” Okay!” (cute smile, then leaves the room)

I went back to what I was doing, but then….

Zoe: (comes inside my room) “Di-pe said that you’re right. Broccolis, cauliflowers and asparagus are edible stems.” (writes answers down on a her pad paper)

Me: “…”(looks at Zoe) “But I thought you said broccolis and cauliflowers are  flowers?”

Zoe: “Yes, but the part underneath the flower is a stem, isn’t it?” (sits beside me)

Me: Sheeeeet…. Ang stupid ko talaga!!!! (I truly felt something whacked my head really hard O.o)

Zoe: “Achi Chelsea, I still have some more questions to answer. It’s hard. I can’t find it in my book.” (looks at me, with eyes like Puss In Boots from Shrek) “Do you know what plants can be made into fibers?”

Me: “Abaca… I think they are from coconuts…”

Zoe: “But… but… but teacher said that coconut trees are lumbers that are made into furnitures.”

My eyes narrowed down (OO! Pwede pa palang liitan ang mata ko!). Oh well, di naman talaga ako marunong sa mga abaca stuffs na yan…. Baka lumber nga talaga yung abaca?

Me: “Err… I think you should ask Di-pe…”

Zoe: “Okay.” (leaves room and comes back after a minute) “Di-pe is calling you.”

I went to my Dad’s room while Zoe was waiting outside the room. I saw him looking at Zoe’s textbook.

Me: “Wala daw sa textbook nya.”

Dad: (smiles) “Look.” (He gave me Zoe’s text book)

I saw it in large bold words Examples of edible plants are broccoli, asparagus, cauliflower… But wait! There’s more! Examples of plants with fibers are abaca…. and some other whatevers. My God! Naisahan ako nung batang yun ah! I went out of the room and looked at Zoe.

Zoe: (still clueless on what I’ve discovered)

Me: “Zoe! Why were you asking me? Everything’s in your book!”

Zoe: (scratches her head) “Hehe, the book’s really thick. It was hard to read eh. So I asked you na lang.”

I could not help but simply laugh after she said that.

THE END

So what did I learn from this incident?

1.       Believe in yourself! Why doubt yourself when you know that you know what you’re talking about?

2.       I myself know that broccolis and cauliflowers are edible stems. When I googled it, the first site on the list said that broccolis and cauliflowers are edible stems. Lesson learned number 2: Believe in yourself especially if someone or something has already pointed out that you’re right!

3.       If your elementary siblings or cousins asked for help regarding their homeworks, check their textbooks first! Hindi ko ito naisip kanina but… “Would teachers normally give grade 2 students homeworks that are not in their textbooks?”

4.       Don’t underestimate kids. They’re smarter and slicker than you think they are.   >.<

Today, yesterday, and the day before... while I spent these days in contemplative efforts and self pity, a lot of people were affected by the typhoon. While I was busy stuck in my own world, drowning myself in despair, a lot more people were in much graver despair than I was. And I’ve only come to realized that now.  

Here I’ve realized how insignificant my existence is. Nagkakagulo na ang buong luzon and I'm sheltered inside the house ignorant of everything. I'm so powerless. Ni-hindi man lang ako nakatulong sa mga nangangailangan. I’ve realized that the world will not stop for me. I am just one, out of those infinite number of people who are living around the globe. Even if I trip, fall down and stop and give up on the way, the world will continue to move on and move forward. Earth will continue to rotate and revolve around the sun. Other people will still continue to live out their own life style. And if I don’t come to my senses soon, I will be left behind.

I was really amazed by how those people who were affected cope up with the typhoon. While I was complaining about some petty things like the fluctuation of electricity and the lost of internet connection... some had most of their properties damaged, some lost their cars and houses, and some... lost even more than that. Yet, while I was complaining, they were smiling, they already got  over it. They were already moving forward.

 They reminded me of the most important life lesson anime has taught me.

“Mopping around won’t change anything. Drowning yourself in self-pity won’t change your situation. If you want to change something, stop crying, stand up and move forward. “(Saiyuki, forgot the exact lines >.<)

“The wonderful quality of the world is... no matter how bumpy yesterday was, the next day is another good one filled with sunshine.” (forgot which anime I got this from)

GRRRRRR! I really really hate, curse and DESPISE rainy and stormy weekends. Kainis! I’m stuck here, suffocated, inside this house. SHH****T  TALAGA!  

List of reasons why I hate stormy weekends:

1.       Eh wla naman talagang pasok eh! Wlang klaseng masususpend...

2.       Internet connection is bad. Hindi ako makadownload ng anime ng maayos.

3.       The atmosephere is gloomy. I get to remember a lot of things I don’t like to remember.

4.       Hindi ako makaalis ng bahay.

5.       Hindi din makakaalis at makakagala ang lola ko and everybody else.

6.       I’m stuck here, dealing with everyone in the house.

7.       I have to listen to all the complaints and hypocritical comments my grandmother has to say about other people.

8.       I get to listen to everyone's narrow-minded replies and make sure that I’m still smiling after they say that.

9.       I HAVE to agree with them.

10.   If I don’t speak, they think wala akong pakikisama.

11.   If I try to make them look at different angles about the person that they are talking about, they’re reaction will be something like “What kind of ridiculous things do you learn from studying psychology?” or “What kind of trash are you spouting from your mouth?”

12.   If I disagree with her, everyone else in the house sees it as a form of rebellion.

13.   If I leave the room, they also see it as a form of rebellion.

14.   Either way, my only way out is to agree to things which I believe are downright wrong.

15.   And because of that, I get frustrated for not speaking out my thoughts.

 

Sorry for pouring and ranting out my frustrations here. I just feel really pissed.  And now that it’s all out, I feel better. ~_~

A short story created while reminiscing about the past, about my stupidity, my pride and my regret back then. And also, of course, about the things I've learned from back then. Also inspired by Initial D. >.< hehehe.

THE BACKSEAT

On the road of life, I travelled with my precious GLXI. Her classic semi-box-type-look went unnoticed with its pale black paint. I always maintain her properly. I wash her, at the very least, once a week. I change her tires regularly, and I always take great care not to damage and wear off the engine.

Steady, I go, and steadily I drove. Slowly release the pedal, press on the clutch, shift to second gear, then slowly and gently let go of the clutch while stepping on the gas. That was the rhythm of my life, it was my style, it was my pace, and it was who I am. Again and again, that was how I lived out my life.

There’s a downhill up ahead! Again with my usual rhythm, I drove slowly with caution and prudence, as I check on the speedometer every now and then. As a hairpin approached, I stepped on the brake. Slowly, with vigilance, I passed the hairpin. I do not like those flashy drifts, nor do I like going at full speed. Not only was it dangerous and full of risk, it would easily wear off my specs if I failed to do it properly.

Slowly, I went on, and saw another hairpin approaching. Suddenly a flashy Lan Evo overtook me and went pass me. I could hardly see its glossy red paint, for his body was covered with stickers and air paint.  Attached behind him, is a red wing and a NOX to match his look. His windows were transparent and untinted, and I noticed that he didn’t have a backseat. His loud sound system and design called my attention, as I slowly watched him from behind. Without hesitation, he tackled the downhill. His worn out but flashy looking spinner wheels created some sparks, as it drifted his way towards the hairpin. But he made a mistake. I think he stepped on the brake too early, or was it too late? Either way, he failed and pulled the emergency break.

There was a long screech, flowed by the smell of burnt tires and tire marks all over the road. I got out of my car to check on the driver. The driver got out of the car, laughing, as he scratched his head, he said “3 tires burnt out. I guess I won’t be able to drive this thing.”

Why was he laughing? It was very strange. Nevertheless, I offered to give him a ride to the nearest gas station.

“Lucky me! God has sent me an angel to help me,” he exclaimed.

Lucky? He called himself lucky? He failed to drift, he burnt 3 tires, he’s stuck hitching my ride, and he still calls himself lucky? He was truly a strange person.

He took a few things from his car, sat on my passenger’s side, and made himself at home. That was the longest 3 hours of my life. He talked a lot about himself; about drifting and swerving, about reving up his engine, yet I couldn’t care any less. He talked with me so casually and asked a lot of things about me; about my style of driving, about the specs of my car and about the specs of my car. Why does he care anyway? It was absolutely none of his business.

“Don’t you think we’re going too slowly?” he asked me.

“I don’t think so.” I said shortly, my eyes on the road.

“Have you ever tried drifting?” he asked.

“No.” Was all I said .

“It’s fun, you should try it out. Though it’s a bit dangerous if you’re new to it,” he said excitedly.

I turned my head towards him and retorted, “which is exactly why I never tried it out.”

He smiled and said, “At last, I made you turn to my direction. You kept looking on the road. I thought that you weren’t listening to me.”

I turned to his direction, to retort once more. I bickered with him so childishly, while he laughed at me for being too serious. It went on and on until at last, we got to the gas station. “Thanks” he said. I watched his figure going inside the station. I stayed for a while, I didn’t get to say goodbye. And I wanted to ask if everything will be alright with his car. It was common courtesy, was it not?  And he came out, running, with a panicked face. Then he sighed with relief, when he saw me waiting for him. “Whew, I thought you would have gone off. I sent some people here to pick up my car. While waiting, maybe we can grab a meal or something, my treat. Then maybe we could go for a drive... It’s the least that I could do for you.”

Before I could say no, he snatched my car key, sat on my driver’s seat and started the engine. “Hop on!” he said, as he flashed a smile.

That carefree and forceful attitude of his is what annoyed me the most. It ruined my pace, it ruined my style, and it ruined my rhythm. Yet I could not help but be swept by his reckless and unpredictable pace.

I simply sighed and sat on the passenger seat. We went for a meal, and it wasn’t half bad. He treated me in an expensive restaurant. After that we went for a drive, and there he, using my car, showed me HIS rhythm. At first, I was reluctant; I didn’t want to damage my precious GLXI.

But his techniques were really good. His little accident with his Lan Evo could have just been a careless mistake. With every hairpin we passed, he drifted gracefully. I carefully watched him as he drove to his heart’s content. And there I saw that he was really alive. For some reason, I felt that he seemed more handsome when sitting on the driver’s seat.

By the time we went back to the gas station, his car was fixed. Before we went our separate ways, he asked me “Would you like to travel together? With your GLXI and and my Lan Evo, we can traverse and explore together the road of life.”

Truly, I was flattered by those words. But fantasy is fantasy, and reality is reality. I was afraid that I would be left behind. Could I really keep up with his pace? Could my plain GLXI truly match up with his Lan Evo? I declined his offer, and we went on our separate ways.

After that incident, I decided to try out different things. I glossed up my black car paint, and added a few stickers here and there. I’ve attached a wing behind my car, and a twin turbo to match. I revved up my engine little by little.

And guess what? Years after, we met again, in the road of life. And this time, our roles were reversed. I was drifting on a hairpin and 2 of my tires burnt out. Coincidentally, he was there, and he helped me out as I did back then.

He offered a ride to the gas station. His car, like before, was as flashy as ever. “You’ve changed a lot,” he smiled at me. “I almost didn’t recognize your car there.”

My retorts and his laughs, I really missed it a lot. We enjoyed the ride, just as we did before.

He suddenly asked, with a straight and serious face, “Why did you decline my offer back then? It was short lived, but didn’t we have a lot of fun?”

I explained that my car was not of match to his. And that I was afraid that if he went too fast, I would’ve been left behind.

He turned his face towards the road and said, “What kind of reasoning is that? If I went too fast, and you were too far behind, I would have waited for you to catch up with me. And besides, I would have slowed down and adjusted my pace for you.”

And then there was an awkward moment of silence. It was too late... I saw that his car now has a backseat.

I looked up the sky as I held back my tears...

THE END

After I woke up this morning, I’ve finally decided to listen to the CD the Ivan lent me almost a month ago (Sorry and thanks, Ivan!). He asked me to try it out. I guess music really means a lot to him and he wants to share the beauty of music to everyone, just as I would with anime. It’s a soundtrack of Metallica if I am not mistaken. I’m not a fan or an expert in music, in fact, I’m an amateur, a noob, in the world of music. Yet I couldn’t help but feel shaken, as I listened to it. When I was listening to it, I felt a small shiver of excitement going up to my spine. I guess REAL music truly conveys their feelings. And you don’t need to be an expert to experience and appreciate it.

As I read a couple of blog entries, I got perturbed with this entry about music school putting limits on their students. I agree that real music conveys their feelings and emotions through their music and that there’s no point in listening to dead music even if it was played skillfully.  

It reminded me of an anime about classical music, Nodame Cantabile. The main character there is a female music student, named Nodame, who’s a drop out in class, or rather, their whole batch. She plays the piano. The other main character is Chiaki, he’s also a music student, also a pianist, who is the best in their batch. One day, Chiaki heard Nodame playing the piano, and he said something like, “She doesn’t play according to the scores, but it’s not random. The way she plays it is completely untheoretical... yet intriguing.”  And because of that, Chiaki learned something that he has forgotten before... that is to enjoy music.

 

As the series goes on, it also emphasized the importance of playing according to the scores. Every key, every note, all the allegro and al dante, even the pauses between each note, each of them has their own meaning, each of them is important. You shouldn’t forsake them because the composers created each note with their own feelings and message to convey. I suppose that is what music school emphasizes.

And besides, doesn’t everything starts with copying and being exact? It’s the same in cooking, in drawing, in painting, in writing and so on... Take for example, in drawing, I started out sketching anime characters that I like, imitating the style of the original artist. But as I gained some experience, I started incorporating my own style, putting my own touch, and eventually created my own style (yung mga chibi ko, haha >.< ). It’s far from perfect, that’s why I still have to go back to the basics, go back to imitating other artist’s style, and eventually improve as I learn more techniques. Same goes for music, first you imitate and copy, learning and exploring the techniques and theories of great musicians and composers. Then as you gain experience, you play music with a little touch of “you” in it. Then eventually, you create your own style and your own music.

After an anxious week of reporting, quizzes, and deadline, nothing is better than a peaceful day like this wherein I can switch back to Type B personality mode. And of course, a day like this is best spent with some bonding time with anime. Nothing heals a disheartened, frustrated, and hopeless soul better than a dose of anime! Today, after getting back home, I watched a few episodes of Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I got to see my favorite character in action again! And I also got to see his kind and soft hearted side. Truly, I was mesmerized by the cool and amazing leadership (haha, report ko sa I-O) of Roy Mustang. And again, I fell in love with this anime. After watching this, I feel empowered to face the distresses offered by school and my family once more.

This is my beloved Roy Mustang!




 

For those who enjoyed Full Metal Alchemist (FMA) out there, I’m sure FMA: Brotherhood would suit your taste even more. At first, they seemingly follow the same plot, but it makes a huge turn somewhere in episode 10 and depicts a totally different story.

The Recipe of FMA

7 pounds of hot boiling action,
That makes our heart skip a beat,
7 litters of tear-jerking scenes,
To reach out to our hearts,
A sprinkle of humor to break the ice,
And 7 gallons of life lessons to challenge our minds,
To keep us guided and build up our resolve.

A combination of science and philosophy, I believe this is what alchemy is about. The main premise of this anime is that "Human kind cannot gain anything without first giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. And that is alchemist first law of equivalent exchange." And truly, at first glance, don't you think that the "law of equivalent exchange" is also applicable in real life? In order to gain something, you should first give something. Life's about give and take. But as I watched this anime half way, I've come to realize that the "law of equivalent exchange" is not an absolute rule. Try watching and you'll know what I mean!

Truly, FMA and its revision, the FMA: Brotherhood are true works of art. It is hard to describe it without spilling out some spoilers. The enjoyment and the happiness of watching them is hard to explain with words alone. Just like what Sir Litt. said about happiness, it’s hard to express with words alone. That’s because happiness cannot be captured by mere words. To truly feel happiness, you have to enjoy it and cherish it during the moment it is happening. I’d say the same is true with the beauty of FMA. Same thing applies with other animes out there. Their beauty cannot be bounded by words alone, because mere words will not suffice to express its true beauty. In order to enjoy and appreciate them, the only way to do so is to watch them! 

I’d like to share to everyone the sheer happiness and pleasure that I obtain from watching anime. As well as all those life lessons that toughens my resolves. So manood kayo! Haha, para naman may kakwentuhan ako! >.< 

Hayyy.... bakit ba ang daming aaralin today? Grabe, tinatamad pa ako. Rather than making some doodles on my sketchpad, I've decided to apply some ab psych concepts in a poem. Baka makatulong sa pag-aaral! >.< Tapos naisip ko si Sir Litt.  Naalala ko yung nagpapadefine sya ng "what is love?" haha, so yun na lang yung main theme ko.

Medyo mababaw... since it's been sooooooooooo long since I last wrote a real literary piece. Haha. Here's my poem, pls do comment and suggest. >_<

Untitled (haha, wla akong maisip!)

Consciousness clouded by this euphoric mood,
Unexplainable feelings of lightness and ecstasy,
This addicting feeling I wish will be for eternity,
Lasts only for short periods of time,
Only when you are here by my side. 

The sight of you with another person,
Automatically sets me in this dysphoria,
Defined by this irritable and unpleasant mood,
Together with anxiety and depression,
What is this unreasonable fear?
 Fear that you will leave me in solitude. 

As your sturdy hand grazed onto mine,
My serotonin level rose up and down,
Controlling this impulse to hold you back,
Resisting the hopes of my wishful thinking. 

I want to believe that we hold the same feelings,
That we are not bounded by mere friendship,
Wishing that my feelings will be reciprocated,
Why am I blinded by this false belief?
Am I really delusional?

Your hoarse voice whispered into my ear,
My dopamine level went all berserk,
Again with this feeling of light pleasure,
Accompanied by an elevated mood,
As I feel my hormone’s swaying my emotions. 

Even in your absence I hear your husky voice,
Speaking to me in such a cool tone,
This tone which enchanted, entranced and enticed me,
A perception with the absence of sensation,
Am I having auditory hallucinations? 

As you sat beside me in a casual manner,
I felt your warm side touch mine,
Every muscle of my limbs froze with nervousness,
Just like a typical cataleptic patient would,
Not moving an inch for long hours,
Not until you move away. 

Just being near you sways my moods,
Being with you disrupts my whole functions,
I find it irritable yet at the same time, pleasant,
Isn’t this called emotional lability?

 What is this feeling that I hold for you?
Why does my body and hormones react when you are near me?
Why do my neurotransmitters go up and down?
A lot of my friends call this feeling "love"
So... why am I displaying the symptoms of a schizophrenic?

Haha, sori, ang bangag tlga ng last few stanzas! I'll try to work it out so as to improve it. >_<

I have taken the road of life,
To seek out answers satisfying life's questions,
About the truth of my origin and purpose,
And about the truth that binds humanity together.

Many times I trip, fall and even roll over,
Receiving wounds that eventually became scars,
Often confused when encountering fork roads,
And ended up making a lot of  mistakes.

I looked at these dirty hands of mine,
Each of them stained with my ugly sins,
No matter how much I try to forget about them,
They will always remind me of my dreadful past.

I was already in the verge of death,
Never finding my life's answers,
And when I was already giving up,
A light flashed out and saved my life.

It helped me come back in the road of life,
And answered many of my life's questions,
The truth about humanity's flaws and beauty,
And the truth about the truth.

But finding them doesn't end my life's journey,
It, in fact, marked a new beginning,
As I stood up with a new resolve,
I started walking once again... in the road of life.

Do you not wonder who was it that saved my life?
It was my very first love, and maybe even my last,
Enticed by it's beauty when I first laid eyes on it,
Anime is the hope that is inspiring me up until now.